


Without Speaking

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-12
Updated: 2003-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:50:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Soundtrack: Simon And Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Without Speaking

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack: Simon And Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else.

Boromir isn't sure how much longer he can take this. He's tried, dear god, he's tried. He's tried to forget the feelings, tried to forget the pain. He's tried to forget the confusion, the sudden anger, that came over him. Still comes over him, whenever he thinks of it.

He isn't sure when the anger was replaced by dismay and despair. He isn't sure when he suddenly understood it all, in frightful clarity. He isn't sure, even, why he feels this way. He only knows that he does.

He isn't sure where the murderous rage came from. He only knows that, standing there, watching them, it overcame him. He only knows that, later, he had to peel his fingers off his sword hilt. He only knows, later, that he was going to kill that elf. Over Aragorn.

He isn't sure when he first realized he felt this way, or when he first realized what "this way" was. He knows that, all this time, he's been watching Isildur's Heir. Studying him. Analyzing him. But he isn't sure when that turned into love.

And he isn't sure when he first realized that his looks were being returned. He isn't sure when he first realized that Aragorn burned with the same heat. Isn't sure what they were both feeling, if it was right, if it was real. Isn't sure about anything, but that he wants Aragorn. Desperatly.

Aragorn sits down next to him and they both shift in their places, unsure of everything. Aragorn opens his mouth, once, twice, three times. And closes it. Nothing to say, but Boromir understands. He nods. He tries to smile but...and he knows Aragorn understands. Because they are one.

Because they are one. Because they are both men. Because they understand each other. And, because Boromir knows, that what they want can never happen. Not here. Not now. And there won't ever be another time.

But, it's hard. Tears sting, but neither will let them fall. Tears are for those who despair. And neither will admit to that. Neither will admit that their hearts break, slowly, day by day. By Boromir walking away. By Aragorn not chasing after him.

By the sad looks Gandalf sends their way. By the way the elf almost understands.

By the jewel that Aragorn does not remove.

And, Boromir knows, that this is all in vain. That none of this will save him. He's lost, the son of the Steward knows. He's lost. Sold. Given away.

Freely.

And Aragorn has accepted him, welcomed him.

But it's not enough. And can never be enough. Not while Boromir sees the jewel. Not while Boromir remembers what he saw on the footbridge that day. Not while Boromir knows his heart. And it's breaking. Slowly, but faster, every breath he takes. Every time he looks at Aragorn.

Every time the tears don't fall.

Every time they walk away.

Every time the words they don't say seperate them more than the years between them.

Every time they let the silence overpower them.

Every time they don't say the words, the words that could break the silence.

Every time they walk away, and don't look back. Boromir curses his pride, always, and Aragorn's. Neither can say it. Neither dares, for hope this is all might be a dream. That this isn't real.

That Boromir doesn't die every time Aragorn doesn't look at him.

That all Aragorn wants is a sign.

And, Boromir knows, it won't ever happen. Becuase, it's better to live with the hope than with heartbreak. It's better to dream than cry. It's better to pretend. It's better.

How he wishes he could believe that. That he could accept that. That he could allow more days to go by without admitting his feelings. Without saying the words. Without kissing Aragorn. With letting it all go and letting it be.

Because Aragorn is engaged.

Becuase Aragorn would throw him away.

Because Aragorn loves him more than words can say.

Because, sometimes, he doesn't want to know. Becuase, sometimes, he thinks it's better to live with the illusion, than deal with the pain. Becuase, sometimes, you just have to let things be. Becuase, sometimes, the way things are is for the best.

Because, sometimes, illusion is better than reality. Becuase this could never last. Becuase Aragorn doesn't love him. Because Aragorn is engaged to an elf, the perfect woman. Becuase Aragorn doesn't want him.

Because they are both cowards, for all their deeds. Becuase, sometimes, the words just won't say. Becuase, sometimes, they prefer the silence to knowledge.

Because, sometimes, they don't need to say anything.


End file.
